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Writer's pictureDr. Patrick E. Crawford

How Do You Know If You're Successful?

Leadership Thoughts | Issue #189
 

"Success is felt in the quiet contentment of an ordinary day well-lived, marked not by accolades but by meaningful moments."



The question came unexpectedly over lunch when a friend leaned in and asked, "How do you know if you're successful?" It was simple, almost casual, yet it held a weight that lingered long after our conversation ended. Like many, I'd always thought of success as a list of achievements—a steady rise in career, financial stability, the personal milestones we're encouraged to chase. But this question felt like an invitation to look deeper. What does success truly mean, and how do we know when we've actually arrived there? Here's where that question led me and the reflections that followed.



Rethinking Success Beyond Milestones

For years, I'd measured success through external markers: career progression, financial growth, and personal achievements. And while these milestones do signal progress, they don't necessarily define genuine success. They are steps along the journey, but they aren't the destination. I realized that true success lies in alignment with our core values, sense of purpose, and personal growth.


Success isn’t just about what we accomplish but how closely our lives align with who we want to become. Are we spending our time in ways that fulfill us? Are we pursuing goals that resonate with our deepest values? Are we nurturing the relationships that matter most? In essence, are we becoming more of who we are rather than simply meeting society's or others' expectations?



The Feeling of Success

One of the clearest indicators of success is how you feel on an ordinary day. Sure, reaching a big goal can bring a rush of pride and excitement, but real success brings a quieter, more lasting sense of contentment. It's a feeling of peace with the choices you're making and satisfaction with the impact you're having, even if there are more goals to chase.


Successful days aren't necessarily marked by grand achievements—they're the ones that feel balanced and purposeful. They're filled with quality moments, whether it's time with loved ones, progress on meaningful projects, or moments of stillness. It's less about reaching a finish line and more about knowing you're on the right path. That feeling, that quiet sense of alignment, is what I've come to associate with success.



Success Through Growth and Resilience

Success also means embracing growth, especially through challenges. Growth is rarely a linear journey; it often comes wrapped in setbacks that push us to adapt and learn. When we view success as an ongoing journey, these obstacles transform into opportunities for resilience and self-discovery.


In this light, success means staying curious, adapting when needed, and holding onto our values—even when the path looks different than we imagined. Learning, changing, and growing through life's complexities isn't just part of the journey—it is the journey. Success lies in our willingness to keep going, to navigate life with grace and courage, and to evolve with every twist and turn.



Cultivating Connections and Making a Positive Impact

For me, success is also about the depth and quality of my relationships and my impact on others. Am I nurturing supportive, meaningful connections with family, friends, and colleagues? Am I making a positive difference in their lives, contributing to their success, and helping to create a supportive community around me?


It brings a profound sense of fulfillment when I can end the day feeling I’ve made a difference for someone or strengthened a relationship. Success, then, is as much about lifting others up as it is about our own journey. By focusing on these meaningful connections and positive contributions, we align our lives with a purpose larger than ourselves.



Success as a Personal Journey

Ultimately, the question "How do you know if you're successful?" revealed success as a profoundly personal journey. It's not something we measure solely by what we achieve externally but by how fulfilled we feel internally and by how closely our lives align with our values, relationships, and purpose. True success is the freedom to live a life that feels authentic to who we are and who we're becoming.


So, the next time someone asks me how I know I'm successful, my answer will be this: I know I'm successful when I feel at peace with the choices I'm making, when I'm growing as a person, and when I'm contributing to others in meaningful ways. Success isn't about arriving at a final destination; it's about finding purpose, fulfillment, and meaning in each step along the way.


 

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